From today onwards you will never deserve my respect.

I wont say that today was a very bad and unlucky day for me. Because there must be a reason behind what happened. Just that till now I haven figured out what the reason is.

The story is simple. I got picked on by a lecturer. A lecturer whom still deserved my respect up till yeterday. Yea, despite all nonsense he did to my fellow classmates, all rubbish he told in class etc etc..The reason of me respecting him is because I dont find a reason not respecting old folks like him. But my perception totally changed today.Yea, 3/2/10.

I dont mind if he asks me a single question or two in lectures. But I started feeling uneasy when I stood up for more than 3 times. And it didnt stop. Uncountable times of standing and giving him a blank look. Chose to give him a "I dont know anything" face is because no matter what I answer, he will still continue asking. So what for wasting my energy?And I chose not to stand up when he asked people who got 25 in viva to, is because I dont want to embarrass myself by telling nonsense in front of everyone.

Anyhow, I can accept him picking on me if he tells me what I have done wrong. But sincerely truthfully and honestly, I dont think I have done anything beyond the limit. I study for tutorial. I study for exams. I study for VIVA. I go to class regularly. I listen to lecturers of that department. I dont sleep in his class although those classes were full of crap. I do my best for exams.

What is there for him to pick on me?Anyone please tell me what I have done wrong?

Feel heart aching is not because having to answer so many questions. It is because I dont understand why am I the victim. Even in drama series you can see the similarities of all victims of a serial killer right?But why not in real life?

And at that moment I suddenly realize that all the while I was alone. Sometimes people whom you think are close to you tend to be de ones joking about what you feel sad about, especially those who came all the way from Malaysia with you. Am not going to tell some rubbish on what are the qualities of good friends, but honestly speaking, you wont know how disappointed I was at that time.

But through incidents only we will grow, and really look through people around you. I am glad to have some friends who really care, understand and even try their best to cheer me up today. And she told me friends dont say thanks. I love her so much :)

I am sure the results of my upcoming exams will not be good, and it is so not shocked to see if I fail my physiology.

Because ff he wants you to fail, you will never pass.