I am emo again why.

The song that I have been listening to for the past few weeks, REPEATEDLY. Ya almost like 4-5 times a day. So sometimes when I get bored of Bruno's voice I listen to Alejandro's version :) But no way will I ever get bored of this song. and the lyrics, yea thats the main part.

I haven't figured out a good title for this post yet, probably because I dont even have an idea on what I am going to write about. When people ask hows life my forever-the-same-answer is Mah like that lor, everyday class study sleep eat. Sometimes I dont understand why am I feeling so not myself, so diffident , so inferior, so disturbed that I wanna hide under my blanket and think of whats wrong. Yea undoubtedly something is unhealthy in my mental counterpart. I can be so vain and confident in front of certain people but everything just seems to disappear once I am back to my own room, sitting on the table facing a screen which never talks.

Shall I define it as loneliness? No its not an accurate term. Am still in search of that kind of persistent optimism which makes you bubbly in front of everyone. That is the kind of people I wanna be, a person who gives positive energy to people around you. Ok geminis are really scary. Their mood swings is hundred times worse than PMS I know. 

Hahahaha actually I am not feeling that bad la at this moment. Because I just got up from bed and am waiting for the heater to heat up so I have to spend my time on something. But the emotional outbreaks that I am encountering this week even surprised myself. I cried when my sister failed( ok yea she passed also I cried), I cried when I watched One Day and some not-meant-to-be-cried-for korean movie, I cried when my close friend shared her problem with me, I cried when everyone asks me about Nepal every freaking day, I cried when someone said he was such a noob not confessing last time, I cried when I finally knew that some rumours back in KTT were actually real and I missed those times badly. I thought a sign of growing up is that you dont handle things with tears again?

Screw the travel part la because from it I came to know that a lot of people really dont understand me. Sometimes you get surprised by how distant you have become. Thats why I appreciate those times I spend with some of my college friends. They do know me.

Listen to the song again la. Roommate's lovely dinner for tonight :D