So I am back in India for 10days already. (OS: What?! only 10days? It feels like 10 months =[ ) But honestly deep down inside I have already known the fact that I am not going to leave this country for the next 11 or 12 months. Nobody takes a break for final year, and nobody affords to fail and get retained for another 6months. And its pretty weird to see the front benches being occupied at all times.
Since last week I have started feeling the stress of being in final year, even though alot of people still say that 8th term is relaxing and 9th term will be like hell. For me the gateway to hell is already opened the minute I stepped into this gandhi land.
Obviously we are expected to know EVERYTHING, and I am kinda shocked by how unprepared I am to be a doctor. One more year 11 more months for a license to kill. Thats when I start doubting myself. Everyone thinks that getting distinctions in medical school is a very powerful thing, but trust me, good docs normally score badly in exams. Because they don't go according to the format, answer scheme, textbooks. (I am not saying those without theory knowledge will be good docs, at least please know your basics well) A good doc recollects what he/she knows, thinks actively in managing a patient. No one can memorize the whole textbook and throw it up when someone's life is at stake.
I dont want to be that kind of person who score well in exam, but go blank when someone is dying in front of you. No, I know I still haven't found the way of studying medicine. So there is absolutely nothing to be proud of by getting distinction, it probably just mean that you are a nerd.
Am lovin' my Orthopaedics posting now. Because there are good docs out here who teach, smile, joke around, and play games in OT when there is no case.
If I am going to be a teacher next time I will be like them. "I was a student too, thats why I dont push my students too hard." awwwww such a lovely doctor.
