解剖。爱情。

刚认识的时候，她已经在他好前面好前面了。

但是他够细心，够疼她，宠她，她选择了他。即使知道彼此是有距离的，还是选择继续走下去。

一路上跌跌撞撞，互相成长。即使身边可能有更适合的人，依然对彼此不离不去。

身边的人的反对，现实社会的眼光，都不明白为什么她不找个和自己般配的人，却选择了一个普普通通的他。永远都要走在他的前面，甚至有时候拉着他走，逼他走得快一点，难道她不曾累吗？

难道她不想放弃吗。

努力地让彼此的距离变小，努力地放慢自己的脚步让他追上来，努力地说服自己站在原地等他。

一个女人最不应该做的就是为一个男人停留在原地。把自己的梦想放小，把自己的男人放大。但是感性的女人，始终会选择站在那里，回头看，等他一天终于追上来。

她不知道自己应该做些什么，只是无助地希望他能追上来。

有时候爱情不能战胜的，是这种距离，这种好远好远的距离。

那天不知道在聊什么的时候开玩笑说你要杀我的话我一定跑掉，你说不会，叫我不要跑掉好吗？我傻笑地说好吧我不跑我用走的。

你说那你记得走慢一点，那么我就不用追得那么辛苦。

当下听了不知道干嘛心好酸，从来都没有人跟我说过这句话。

原来你从一开始就看到了我们的距离。

India- Changes

Haven't updated my blog in a while. Was actually at the verge of disposing it but mm seh-dak ah! Afterall it is still a part of me. 

Came back for good for exactly 2 months today. Shaken legs enough for a month, done with the application, went for a trip, now it's time to think of what to do for the coming few months (hopefully till august).

Breaking out of my comfort zone has always been something that I wanted to force myself to do. Even though I have lived independently in a foreign nation for the past 5 years, there's still a lot of things that I need to cope to start a new life here again. 

That's one of the reasons why I started working part time (money is definitely not one of the reasons). More than that I would really like to go meet new people and learn something that's totally different from my field.

And throughout this week I have noticed a few things that's different about me, that the past five years have imprinted in me. 

I feel awkward meeting new people. And that makes me realise that all these while I kept myself in my own bubble, hanging around with only people that I know so well, and I haven't really met someone new for a really longggggg time. Thank you India. 

I (maybe the whole hospital and college) don't know how to be professional. Such ironic it is. We are all in a very professional field yet nobody knows how to keep professionalism in the hospital. We gossip in the hospital, flirt over the phone after discussing a case, ask our colleagues out for a date, do whatsoever is shown in Greys Anatomy. But in the office nobody talks about other things. The only time where we get to know each other is during lunch or most probably activities after office hour.

I became extremely mature. Keep emphasis on things that I want myself to do and constrain myself from doing something that does not benefit anyone. It's a good thing actually, but over maturity makes a person uninteresting. Your speech and acts get bounded by your maturity (and that can become very boring haha) 

Anyhow I am glad that India changed me, because I love how compliments come to me so naturally when I portray certain strong traits. Matt told me that they are all marveled by the way I bring myself and the maturity I portray *flips hair* [didnt mama teach you to not listen to sweet talks by guys so easily?] 

Gonna miss this bunch of people when I leave. The stupid cold and dirty jokes, the unexpected little sweet surprises, the gentleness in their acts, the professionalism at work and etc etc. 

Glad I chose to spend my holiday like this :)